John Maddox
All of us go though times of emotional upheaval. Whether it be losing a business, losing a job, being betrayed by those close to you, divorce or breakup, health issues; the list goes on and on.
In the last 2 years, I’ve experienced all of these, and while it is very easy to look back and wish things were different, I would like to share a few of these and what I’ve learned through experience, and encourage others to get up and keep going!
Health Problems – Why ME!
When we face unexpected health problems, its very easy to become depressed, feel sorry for yourself, and ask the “why me” question.
Two years ago, in one phone call I found out it was a miracle to be alive. I was having a massive brain hemorrhage, and had to have emergency brain surgery. While laying in ICU I found out that hemorrhages the size of mine had a 98% fatality rate.
Ironically, before surgery I had no fear, but after surgery my main concern was would I ever be what I was before? While I’m truly blessed to have no cognitive deficient, my level of energy has not returned to the levels it was before. To this day I have moments of acceptance that I’m not quite what I once was, and have to accept my limitations.
Have there been moments of depression wondering why this happened? Absolutely! Have I asked “why did this happen to me”? You bet! Have I felt sorry for myself? More than once!
What Did I Learn?
Having my sense of immortality ripped away put life in a completely different perspective. Am I still an extremely driven entrepreneur. You better believe it. I’m currently involved in 3 different ventures, Ideashares, TrustedResponse, and Serious Startups.
But what I learned was simple. Focus your life on influencing those around you in a positive way, and what are the best ways to use your time. This can be on a personal level or business, but it’s vital you realize the impact you have on others is worth more than money.
This is not to say you shouldn’t make money and strive for success. In reality, it becomes easier to make money in business if your mind is focused on solving problems for those around you. This could be for your job, startup, or personal relationships.
Losing A Business
In fairness, the business didn’t fail, but there was doubt by partners that I would ever be what I was after surgery. This led to disagreement and ultimately selling my stake.
Having put my heart and soul into building that company, it was a truly devastating life changing event. Was I worried about pay bills? No. But what to do with myself, and what I wanted to do next weighed heavily me. The next six months was spent trying to figure out who I was, and more importantly, who I wanted to be.
It is very common to become defined by what we do professionally. When things change dramatically, you can feel lost and begin to question your value. I faced this question many times while battling depression. On the outside I was moving forward with a new venture, but internally I hadn’t recovered emotionally.
What Did I Learn?
After hitting a very low point emotionally about a year after my surgery, it took baring my soul to people I greatly respected, and asking their advice. What surprised me was their openness and help to get back on track emotionally, and how many of them had gone through similar emotional upheavals in life. Suddenly I realized it was totally normal to be feeling down.
Putting up a facade and acting like everything is OK is normal, but if you’re going through serious trials, don’t be afraid to talk with others and ask for help!
Betrayed By Those You Trust
I’m not going to talk about what happened specifically, but while getting back on my feet and taking several large financial gambles, people I trusted to help build a new future stabbed me in the back. This resulted in a significant loss of money, but more importantly a serious emotional scar.
What I Learned
It’s amazing how so many people are consumed by the here and now, and don’t look at the big picture of what success truly means. This often leads to only looking out for themselves, and when money is involved compromise their principles.
However, there are people out there who share values, appreciate who you are as a person, and share similar dreams. It’s just a matter of opening yourself up, sharing who you are as a personal and what you want to achieve. When you do this you’ll be amazed at the doors that will open and relationships that will be forged.
You Can’t Change The Past
The most important thing I’ve learned in the last two years is that it’s pointless to feel sorry for myself, or waste time wishing I had made different decisions.
Of course it will take time to overcome these types of problems, we’re only human after all. But the key to success and basic happiness is appreciating the opportunities we have ahead of us, not dwelling on what we can’t change.
We only have one life to live, and every second that goes by is one we will never have again. We must learn from the past, but be focused on the future!
This is what I have learned. What will you do?
