I stood huddled in the bathroom stall, texting furiously. My hands were shaking and my breathing shallow as I tried to screw up my courage to just walk out of the bathroom.

Outside the crowd grew, and I could hear the music kicking in. Everyone was arriving, ready for an exciting night. Me? I was stuck in the bathroom, too afraid to join the party, too proud to leave.

I really wish I could say this is a story about high school, but I would be lying.

This happened almost 2 years ago. I was 30 years old, and petrified of my first “networking event.” (It would be months before I even heard that term.)

In my defense, I had spent my 20s bearing and raising children. I always felt a vague dissatisfaction with my choice to stay home with my kids, but I hadn’t done anything about it. Now, thanks to a family friend, I was arriving at this “networking event” with a half-baked idea and the chance to “meet people.”

Obviously, I was terrified.

My story, like everyone’s, is unique, but in today’s fast paced world, reinvention is common. And jumping into any new venture, environment, or group can be difficult. I often still feel like I’m navigating unfamiliar terrain, but here are a few things I’ve learned since that first horrific night.

Network, Network, Network

And network some more.

I don’t mean the type of networking that has gotten a bad rap. Handing out business cards indiscriminately at every event isn’t the way to build a lasting network.

I mean a strong, deep network of people who know you and believe you’re capable of reaching your goals. It takes time to build a real network, but putting in the effort will be invaluable.

I recently witnessed the power of a deep network when a friend lost his job. The experience could’ve been a huge blow, both personally and financially. But, because he’s put in years of getting to know people and consistently doing good work, he hasn’t missed a paycheck. Dozens of people jumped at the chance to help him.

A strong network will help you flesh out ideas, guide your thinking, and create opportunities you could never imagine, much less create, on your own.

That night in the bathroom stall, I had no network. I knew one person at the event, and him not very well at the time. Now, 2 years later, when I’m feeling stuck on something, I have a long list of people who are willing to help me get unstuck. And, I still seek every opportunity to find and build genuine relationships with new people.

Shut Up and Listen

When you’re new to an industry, you don’t know anything. You might have some assumptions and theories and you may have spent hours researching on the Internet, but trust me, you’re mostly ignorant.

For a period of time, the best strategy is to shut up and listen to every conversation you can. This applies to virtual conversations on social media as well as in-person conversations with experts.

It’s tempting to want to jump into conversations before we’re ready, to prove that we can keep up. More often, though, listening closely to the debates and arguments that pop up will teach you more than you could ever learn from the Internet.

Along those lines, don’t be afraid to ask questions.

That night, I walked into a startup event and heard the terms “VC,” “angel,” and “the cloud,” for the first time. (Do “angels” live on “the cloud,” by chance??) A Google search cleared up some of my confusion, but I finally had to pull my friend aside and get some clarity on a few of the terms.

If you don’t want to look stupid (my problem), find that one person you can trust with your stupidity. The more questions you ask, the quicker you learn. People like to be trusted with questions, and asking them shows your respect and confidence in that person.

And like my friend assured me then, before long you’ll be the one people see as the expert.

Fake It ‘Til You Make It

This is one of my favorite pieces of advice, but I think it’s often misunderstood.

I don’t mean fake knowledge or expertise you don’t have. That’s a good way to lose the trust and confidence of the people around you.

Rather, I mean fake the confidence you don’t have until you have it.

You may know that you don’t know anything about your new field, but the people you’re meeting don’t know that. And even more likely, they don’t care very much. Act like your success is inevitable and before long, it will be.

I finally left the bathroom stall that night, by the way. Many of the people in that room became my first mentors and some of my best friends. Two years later, I’ve met more people and done more things than I ever thought possible while hiding in the bathroom, including selling my first company.

And, I think ultimately, that’s my most important piece of advice for someone looking to forge a new career in their 30s (or any time):

Quit hiding and get started.

A lot of people say that entrepreneurs are crazy. We give everything we have to build a business, including our health, money, time and relationships.

And, for what? Most businesses fail, and many of the ones that “succeed” never reach their full potential.

Yet, if you’re anything like me, that fact motivates instead of scares you. That’s the crazy part. If you’re a lifelong entrepreneur, you look at long odds, grin and say, “Damn right I can beat those.”

Because entrepreneurship saves us.

If you’re wired to be an entrepreneur, you just can’t help it. The act of building something from scratch, of seeing your vision come to life is your driving force. You live and die by every swing of the entrepreneurial pendulum.

And it’s not just the successes. The obstacles and failures drive you, too. That moment when you have to tell yourself to go one more round, when you have grit your teeth and give it everything–that’s when you feel most alive

The ability to create is what sets mankind apart from animals. Throughout the centuries great artists and creators have all been seen as a little unstable, but the beauty they put into the world was worth it. Or, at least, they were so driven to create they had no choice.

In 21st century America, many entrepreneurs are the modern day artists. Which is scary because

Entrepreneurship also kills us.

There’s a reason there’s a constant debate over work/life balance in entrepreneurial circles. It’s because we’re all so obsessed with what we’re doing, we can’t stop. We don’t eat well. We don’t sleep. We don’t nurture deep relationships that make a real difference in our lives.

And, in extreme cases, we think death is better than failure.

There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. That’s why so many great artists and writers suffered so much internal pain. Entrepreneurs, unfortunately, are no different.

I wish I had an answer to the problem. I wish I knew how to pull back, how to care less about what I’m building.

I wish I knew the answer to work/life balance and had guarantees that it would all be worth it in the end. That the things I’m choosing to live for will really matter–to me or anyone else one day.

But I don’t, and neither do you.

Instead, we can take comfort in the fact that we’re not alone, at least. You aren’t the only who feels like the crazy entrepreneur, and if you make smart bets and wise risks, it’ll be worth it in the end. Let’s face it. Without people like us, shit wouldn’t get built.

So keep building.

But also get some sleep.